Surgery, Part 3

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🙏जब जागो तब सवेरा🙏

Surgery, Part 3 |
Saturday – October 24, 2026

They say that time can heal any wounds... Well, first of all let us put aside any consideration of who this "they" are, but I suppose that this is a common saying or one of those idioms. I must say that I profoundly disagree with at least the premise and the spirit of this statement, because why would we want to or seek to forget, read "The End of History"? Is it really a good idea to seek to erase our wounds? I do not think so, but I do think this fixation of cleaning or cleaning ourselves from our past is quite bad and erroneous, really a huge mistake, for we do still carry some part of our past whether we prefer to or not, and so the idea that we may just reduce our past, our memories, to preference, seems to me rather outrageous and even deceitful, and actually another contradiction, a totalitarian contradiction. Consider again why we would like to erase our past, or rather are there any truly good and legitimate reasons for us to want to erase our past? Besides, the contradiction is pretty painful I should think: are we individuals or are we nor, here I am asking the proponents of the humanist axiom, and if we are individuals then why would we seek to forget, to erase, our past? This is a contradiction at the core of the modern world, and really not a conflict that I am quite equipped to deal with here, but still these considerations are important and they deserve to be thought out clearly. I do not have an answer at the moment to these questions, but I have been forced to consider the efficacy of simply reducing everything to preference in order to escape ourselves while at the same time we are somehow supposed to remain true to ourselves. Is it then not the case that the ego is whatever currents meet and mingle at the moment? Is the labyrinth of the mind just that: an empty vessel floating in and out of the world, manifestation, based on the currents of the day? Must everything be reduced to instatenuity, read "Theory of Mind"? Must we always seek the extreme and absolute limit of each day? How can anyone want to live on the edge of the day like this, read "What is Capitalism?". I suppose that frugality somehow calls for this? Yes, the idea is to resolve conflict. So, let us call this a kind of conflict resolution, only we do not rely on machetes like stone age men, or the caricature of stone age men, and a caricature that I do not necessarily agree with, but allow me to keep you in the loop, even if that means borrowing modern phraseology.

    Now, in terms of my surgery, I do not expect any scars resulting from it to last, and even if it does, then so be it. It is not that I am looking forward to getting scared, it is more that I realize that I simply do not have much of a choice, and this is just how it must be. Ask yourself this: did you ever have a choice as to when you were born, read "My Views on Antinatalism"? Did you ever believe that you had any chance to avert your life and to avert whatever history that is not imprinted on you? If so, then you may be mistaken. Of course, perhaps we notice this tension with people who are often wrong, serial bunglers if you will; they seem quite unable to put themselves on the correct path, because they are simply wrong about most things in life. Is this not sad? Of course, what sets the serial bungler apart from the semi bungler is that the semi bungler hopefully understands that he is way off and this feeling hopefully is able to prompt him to go somewhere else with his life; well, the serial bungler is completely unable to see this, and you may say that he is blind to his own image, for that man has been affected by hubris. Well, I do not wish to become affected by hubris. At least not yet. Now, perhaps we all are destined for hubris at one point or another, but I can only hope that this is not the case.

    Well, at least these are some of my thoughts here in the middle of the night, when the light feels more distant, really when I can feel the distance of the light. Well, I am tired and I am about to go in for my surgery, but still I believe these were some thoughts worthy of note, and if not being able to articulate something, I find it pretty important. Of course I am not allowing myself to be governed by feelings, but feelings are still there, which makes me essentially human, and quite apart from being human in any other dimension, read "Transhumanism". At least there is a resolution in my case. Now, think about all of those cases without resolution: would this not prompt you to seek another truth, read "Knowledge"? Well, if you do want to reach a resolution then you should probably not rely too heavily on your own judgment; after all if judgement cannot guide us, then we may need to redefine judgment or discover some new judgement, or else we will fade away. The high seas and the open frontiers of the old age, read "The Age of Exploration", these are what should matter, not some empty notion of healing and conflict resolution. We are not governed by petty little details, at least not according to the grand narrative, and yes "narrative" is a word that I dislike.

    Now, I expect to be in a better position tomorrow as to when I will be able to get back to my writing schedule, but for now it all seems much too early to tell and I do need to go to sleep, but again I was forced to think about these things today, tonight really, and yes I was forced to write about them, and if every particle in the air shall be my witness, writing is my cause and my call, at the moment that is, read "Dreaming". I do not believe that I will be off of the schedule for a long time, but again you never know with these things and that is okay, that is okay. I suppose that this whole experience reminds me of how babies are born today: they wake up after something, and in my case I wake up after surgery, which is though and rough, and so off to the dustbin you go, you evil thought about something going wrong, and no this is not about anxiety or fear. No, I do not trust feelings and I do not trust the idea of erasing history and memory. I will not allow that to define my destiny, not that I believe that it could, but sometimes the feeling is enough to set the way forward, read "Why the Righteous Path?".

Reginald Drax (AKA, M. C. Dutt) – October 24, 2026.