Answering Readers, Part 13

Biblical (תַּנַ״ךְ) depiction of
the flight from Sodom and Gomorrah

Leaving Your Wife |
Thursday – October 1, 2026

In this installment, if you will, of this series, I have been asked by a person whether or not he should leave his wife and his family behind, in order to pursue a new life, and perhaps an alternative lifestyle. Yes, I take this letter at its word and I feel that the author of the letter really is struggling here, and I suppose as well that the letter concerns a rather sensitive topic within the Catholic community. Yes, should you be able to divorce your wife, if you are a catholic? Now, before I can proceed to answer any of these questions, allow me to make it perfectly clear that I am not someone who is qualified enough to provide any definitive answers about questions like this, and really, above all I believe that you must seek some kind of contact with your clergy, but still I am delighted to be able to provide some advice.

    Now, as I typically do with these posts, I know that it is getting old and annoying, I will repeat some of my rules in regards to how I handle the many letters that I have received from my readers. I have a soft editorial policy, since I will be publishing in whole or in part what someone else has written, and for the most part this "soft editorial policy" revolves around what I will publish and what I will not publish, and this could surely include privileged information such as names and detailed information that could be used to track someone down; really, it is my policy to almost never publish these details unless I have been told that I can do so. I may also find it necessary to refuse to publish in part or in whole a letter, and if I refuse to publish a letter, then I am not likely to respond to that letter. If I instead find that I may publish a part of a letter, then I will indicate this by clearly showing that I have only quoted that part of the letter. I will also sometimes find it necessary to substitute certain words in a letter addressing me and this is mainly something that I would find it quite necessary to do in order to protect someone's identity or in order to not publish something that I find to be quite offensive. If I substitute something from a quotation, then I will indicate this by the usage of two brackets, [text], but if I instead find it necessary to exclude something and not replace it by substitution, then I will simply indicate this with three dots inside two brackets, [...]. Again, these are some of my "soft rules" that I may apply, but typically there will be no reason for me to apply these rules because most people who address me in letter do not use offensive language and they also do not typically reveal too much private information about themselves, but it is always important to note that something inside a quotation may have been altered, and typically this is always indicated by two brackets. Again, these are somewhat important policies, primarily because I am here publishing words written by other people, and for a variety of reasons this has to be clarified, not necessarily in the cowardly way that a newspaper would do it, but close enough for the purposes of borrowing the term "editorial policy".

    Also, I do not think that you should reveal your name in your letters, unless you want to, because this is one of those details that really do not matter and really will not make a difference, and really will not provide much useful information. On that note, sometimes I will find it necessary to engage in conjecture, which is why I sometimes make claims that perhaps might turn out to be untrue. Yes, if you do not reveal enough details that are relevant, then I need to fill out the details in order to engage with your letters meaningfully. Again, this information is very relevant, really quite imperative, which is why you may also read my post "Information".

    Now, as I mentioned in the beginning: this letter contains several difficult questions about the nature of marriage and if it is possible or even advisable to divorce your wife, and really to divorce your wife in order to pursue a new life. These are perhaps difficult questions, but I would not characterize them as offensive or in violation of my soft policies, and so I have found no need to change anything in the letter. I gather that the author of the letter seeks to remain somewhat anonymous, as he has only provided us with what appears to be his first name.

    Mr. Siobhan asks:

"Hello Mr. Mohandas Chandra Dutt, PhD, I am Siobhan from Ireland and I am facing a difficult time with my wife. I believe that she has been cheating on me. I believe that I need to divorce her. Should I do this? We are catholics and here in Northern Ireland divorcing is not such a good thing. I have €15000 on my account and I think maybe I should move to Asia (Thailand). Must I convert in order to do this? Can we heal in our relationship?" — Mr. Siobhan.

Yes and indeed Mr. Siobhan, you must know that I am referring to your good name, as Mr, and as I was only provided with what appears to be your first name, excuse my clunky respect to your name. I must also clarify that I am not a holder of any PhD, and so you may think of me as a doctor if you wish, but I do not hold any PhDs.

    Now, to get to the matter of your letter, I understand that you are currently facing a difficult time, but before you freak out too much, you must know that people throughout all ages have faced a similar situation to the one that you are currently facing, and you must know as well that if you give in to the devious call, then you will lose. Now, to address the matter of your wife cheating on you: do you know that she is really cheating on you, or is this merely a baseless suspicion? Perhaps you should attempt to expose her? Or rather, have you already attempted to expose her? In that case, how did you expose her? Now, I realize that you are currently unable to provide me with an instant reply, and so I will not press on further, but sometimes it is surely the case that demons inside our mind can make us believe in the strangest of things, and perhaps your wife never cheated on you after all; these things do matter, and indeed the truth matters above all, for without the truth, we can not really be said to be real in our pursuit of the next moment. Yes, allow the truth to make itself clear, and I can assure you that the truth will be revealed, sooner rather than later.

    Now, in the event that it should turn out that indeed, your wife has cheated on you, I must make it clear to you Mr. Siobhan, that after all you are still catholic, and while the Catholic church may allow men and women to divorce, this is merely a political thing, something that has been made available in order to satiate the masses, and so if you are going to pursue a divorce then you must now that doing this will reduce you to a man in the crowd, in the mass. Do not do this to yourself, even if you feel sincere hatred in your heart for your wife. Instead I can only advise you to attempt to get your current wife excommunicated from the Church, as this will actually make it easier for you to separate from her. I can also say that yes, read "The Problem of Secular Law", you may still divorce your wife in the eyes of the government without being quite able to do so in the eyes of the church and the congregation, but this would depend somewhat on your particular sect within Catholicism. Now, most of this would have been easier if you were a Moslem and if your wife was a Moslem, as divorce would have been one possibility in your situation, read the first part of this series; of course, another possibility would have been for you to marry another woman. Now, I continue to maintain, in opposition to Church doctrine, that it is not necessarily the case that polygyny is against the Church, read "Polygamy as an Alternative to Divorce", but I do not wish to call on you to stand in opposition to the Church, as I do not believe that you are going to succeed as an uppity Irishman, and just as well you did mention the fact that you and your wife appear to live in Northern Ireland, truly something that is likely to act as a compounding factor in your situation.

    In terms then of leaving your wife behind completely and moving to Asia, preferably Thailand I gather, to live off of €15 000 ($17 012.92 as of September 29, 2026), I can only say that yes, this is a good idea, for this would enable you to embark upon an adventure and really make you a new man, read "Sailing the High Seas". I do however not believe that it would be quite possible for you to live in luxury on only around $17 000, because this will only last you some time, but if you decide to live a modest life, then this could last a longer time yet. In fact, you could even escape your wife entirely if you decided to move away from her, especially if she is cheating on you. Now, you do ask about having to convert, and I have already alluded to this, and yes, becoming a Moslem could be one option if you do intend to move to Thailand, but perhaps you should consider Saudi Arabia? I think perhaps that Saudi Arabia would be a more suitable option.

    In terms of you being able to heal this relationship, I cannot say more than that I believe that it may at this seemingly late juncture be much too late for you to do anything, and so I suspect that you already know the answer, that it may be too late. I also do not believe that you should blame yourself for this; if your wife decided to cheat on you, then the blame belongs to her, unless she was raped in a situation where it was clearly the case that she had not ability to consent, and this in accordance with Deuteronomy (דְּבָרִים), Chapter 22, read my "Bible Study series". At the end of the day, only you may know this, read as well "Knowledge".

Reginald Drax (AKA, M. C. Dutt) – October 1, 2026.