Despair – Freestyle

Melencolia I
By Albrecht Dürer

Despair |
Saturday – August 1, 2026

For me, despair is really a process of change, and currently I am in that process. Now, I cannot speak for despair itself and I cannot predict its next victim. I do however know that the world used to be a better place, read "Is the Future the Enemy?"; in fact, it would be impossible for it to be any other way. Ask yourself this: are you getting any younger and healthier? No, and you will not get any younger and any heather either. Your condition is a lost cause, and in the end you will rot and you will die, and whatever sign of you still left in the afterlife will soon be gone. This is the way of life and this is the way of nature, truly cyclical. The only hope you have for resurrection in this life is by your bloodline, read "Should You Create a Family?", unless of course you seek higher knowledge. But since you are unlikely to seek, let alone receive higher knowledge, you are stuck in your current despair, and to that extend it would be right to concur with the Great Buddha and indeed the great masters of the old, the heroes of the truth: you are doomed, you are doomed to failure, and you are doomed to suffering, and while you may claim that certain forms of suffering can be withstood, your form and your destiny tells us another tale, read "When Will You Die?". Yes, you will not be able to escape the suffering of life, even though you keep telling yourself this.

    Now, you may be wondering what on Earth I am on about? Well, I am on about my own problems, read "Medical Emergency Updates", because I am a sick and depraved person, but so are you which means that I am actually on about your problems as well, read "Disintegration"; indeed, everyone are sick and deprived, for this is what it means to be flesh. Why has God removed his hand of protection? Well, the answer to that question depends, but such an answer would fall outside the scope of this post. All I can say is this: God does not require your approval(!), and in full accordance with the cyclical nature of history and of the world, it would be perfectly in keeping to suggest that we are facing the wrath at the end of the current cycle and that indeed the world needs this, that it would in fact be a form of justice over the Earth and over humanity for this to happen, for the wrath of God to strike down sin and deprivation. And so, I feel despair, and really humanity feels despair, as we should and as we must, as we must in the face of injustice and injury to the glory of the creation, read "The Eschatology of the Kali Yuga". Now, it is also the case that now, yes now, is and has always been unbearable, for we are living on the edge here, quite literally, and this carries with it the uncertainty of a tomorrow where Satan reigns supreme, which he is very close to doing at the moment.* In fact, it would be rather unusual for a man of some standing to not feel despair in the face of these prospects, and I can assure you all, that even the great Pharaohs of Egypt felt this despair, although theirs was somewhat less acute than mine; this is also reflected in the Code of Hammurabi, for it was made illegal to build structures and houses that were not safe. Indeed, if you are building a house, would you not ensure the basic structural safety of that building? And if not, would it be fair to label you a cheat and a criminal, not only in the name of Hammurabi's codes? Do you not fear the wrath of God? If not, then you are not only a cheat and a criminal, but you may even be a psychopath, possessed by the spirit of Satan, and consumed by hatred for every living being under the Sun – a true monster. In fact, this is what I am fighting, this is why I am currently affected by despair: I am fighting evil and I am fighting the attempt by some to infiltrate my very being, and this does make me strong in the long run, but currently I am weak and I am frail. Yes, disease and sickness happens for a reason, and if I am weak I must be weak because I am deserving of that fate: I deserve to be weak because I have failed to be strong in the past, and this is the purpose of history, to haunt those who failed to deliver the promise of the New Monday. Indeed, the New Monday is here and I have failed you, O' Lord – I have failed myself. Again, this applies not only to me, and I have decided to allow myself to speak on behalf of humanity in this regard, read "Who Am I" and "Dreaming".

    There has, I must add, been a lot of talk recently about deserving this and deserving that: well, nobody deserves anything, and you may go in sin and you may continue to flaunt your humanity and your so-called "humanism", but at the end of the day you must know that you are beneath the divine law, especially in your current condition, for you are a monster and a beast. Yes, despair is the word for the day, the word for the year, and the word for the century. From this point on, everything will become worse and your problems will multiply and intensify; the wind will not be your friend in need on the high seas, for the wind will carry you further away from your destination, further away from dry land. Is there any hope? No, but for more on that you must read my post "Is There Hope?". Of course, I may come across as confused and rambling here, but I do face a lot of problems, and problems that will not cease, because these are more than material issues based on my confused preferences. Besides all of these points, it is clearly the case that time is speeding up, something that is in keeping with our current and deviated circumstances. No, I think that I would prefer to become King over my own domain, but in order for me to do so, I would have to become truly qualified, read more about that here. It is perhaps also then the case that I expect too much? Yes, I guess I am, which is why I deserve even more to feel nothing but despair. Life is truly painful in these moments. Why must pain come and mare every pleasure, every moment of joy, and turn them against me and into hardships? This is not a question for me to answer, not at all, read "The Metaphysics of Adversity". There is no power in humanity, and with this conclusion I can fully embrace my despair and my depression. Yes, I have no power, as it should be, and until I have left the abyss and until I have been granted permission to leave the ground, the infra-human state, I shall remain in this condition, read "The Problem of Raising Boys".

Reginald Drax (AKA, M. C. Dutt) – August 1, 2026.

Footnote(s)

* I should add that Satan in this context refers to the infra-human appetite for everything under the Sun, read "Mechanical Procedures". But would it not be true to refer to the current modality of man as truly Satanic?